In my 23 years of life on this earth I think I am beginning to understand that life doesn't always turn out how you had planned. After graduating from High School I wanted to go to Hawaii - hang out and have fun. I wanted to major in political science and then move to DC and work on capitol hill. In all actuality, I went to BYU-Idaho, majored in social work, got married, and now am going to graduate school at BYU. Although all of this may not be what I had originally planned, I am completely satisfied with my life. I am so blessed and so very happy.
When things don't turn out the way you had hoped, it's easy to question God or doubt in the future. I think this fear comes from a lack of faith in God, a lack of belief that He knows all, that He loves you, and that He wants and knows what best for you.
Elder D. Todd Christofferson shared counsel on this topic: "God can guide us to a future we do not or cannot now envision but which He knows is the better way for us." He then shared this story about President Hugh B. Brown, formerly a member of the Twelve and a counselor in the First Presidency. President Brown had bought a rundown farm in Canada many years ago. As he went about cleaning up and repairing his property, he came across a currant bush that had grown over six feet (1.8 m) high and was yielding no berries, so he pruned it back drastically, leaving only small stumps. Then he saw a drop like a tear on the top of each of these little stumps, as if the currant bush were crying, and thought he heard it say:
“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. … And now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me. … How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”
President Brown replied, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down.’”
Years later, President Brown was a field officer in the Canadian Army serving in England. When a superior officer became a battle casualty, President Brown was in line to be promoted to general, and he was summoned to London. But even though he was fully qualified for the promotion, it was denied him because he was a Mormon. The commanding general said in essence, “You deserve the appointment, but I cannot give it to you.” What President Brown had spent 10 years hoping, praying, and preparing for slipped through his fingers in that moment because of blatant discrimination. Continuing his story, President Brown remembered:
“I got on the train and started back … with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. … When I got to my tent, … I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, ‘How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?’ I was as bitter as gall.
“And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, ‘I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.’ The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness. …
“… And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to [God] and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’
God knew what Hugh B. Brown was to become and what was needed for that to happen, and He redirected his course to prepare him for the holy apostleship.
I have come to a point in my life where I trust God and know that He has so many wonderful things in store for me. He knows me so perfectly and wants whats best for me. I have faith in the future because I know God will be a part of it. I know He is aware of my circumstances and that He loves me. I will continue to put my faith and trust in God so that in return, He can come to trust me.
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